The messy truth of change
Happy New Year!
This past Sunday I made a post on social media that had quite the response. It accumulated over 80 comments between instagram and facebook in just a couple days (so if I don’t reply to yours quickly - that’s why). And if you’re one of the people who commented, Thank-you, I felt your big hearts fiercely these past few days.
The responses were a mix of concern and love, along with honoring me for sharing something true (and messy).
It took me by shock how many comments (not to mention personal messages) I was receiving about this post.
And then I realized why…
People’s feeds are likely overflowing with “New Year. New You!” messages. Stories of how to rock 2019 and kick the new year off to be your BEST EVER!
I know it because I felt the pressure myself…not only as someone seeing these posts, but as someone who ‘should’ be making one of these posts herself. I mean come on, I’m a personal growth writer and a coach with a life design and goal setting journal published…I’m suppose to be the poster child for a “New Year. New You!”
But that’s not what happened. Instead this is what I posted on January 6th…
“The first week of 2019 has been about being with big change....and honoring my pace.
My partner (of 4.5 years) and I decided to make a big transition in our relationship (from partners to friends), I moved to a new home on my own (which I love and feel so proud of), I got sick (because I held in all my emotions until moving day - and like an avalanche - the repressed feelings came up and out (but hey! it got me making green juice for myself in the mornings again).
This year kicked off with a lot of 'firsts' for me and with that, I have been allowing myself to e-a-s-e into 2019, rather than race my way into it.
I thought I'd chime into your feed to tell you it's OK (and you're not going to 'fall behind') if you move into 2019 a bit more like the tortoise, rather than the hare.
Remember the moral of that story? You can be more successful by doing things slowly and steadily than by acting quickly and carelessly.
If you want to feel more present and easeful and purposeful...let your life simmer a little before you make your move.”
In a world where we’re told that ‘faster, bigger, better’ is success and ‘having it all together’ is what will make you happy - it’s no wonder we tend to avoid exposing our messy truths, in particular, the messy truths of change…
The kind of change that happen with our relationships, careers, lifestyle, finances, desires, dreams, way of being and thinking…that don’t necessarily come with a flashy sign that says, “New Year. New Me.” As I wrote to a dear friend of mine, the kind of change that has you ‘feeling so tender…and strong…and tender…and full of curiosity for the future…and did I mention tender.’
Change can be deeply rewarding, empowering, and fulfilling - but the messy truth is, more often than not, it can also be full of vulnerability.
Because when we lean into changes that are calling to us on a deep soul level, we are also asked to…
…unravel old parts of ourself that we had become accustom to.
…learn how to see the world (and our life) differently.
…re-write the narrative that we thought was our future.
…re-imagine an empire or a castle we spent years building.
We are re-defining something that was a part of our map (how we see and function in the world), and that takes immense depth, honesty, and wholehearted courage.
So today I want to hold space for ALL the layers that we may feel as we navigate the vulnerable waters of change.
Without doubt, sometimes listening to your soul's call for change can feel tender.
But if we allow it, these waters can teach us how to navigate our inner and outer world with more truth, confidence, and ease. All the parts of change begin to feel less like a bull fight, and more like a tango.
That doesn't mean life becomes perfect. It means that we learn to dance with life more honestly. And more free.
In honor of change, I have decided to not run The Changemakers Circle this year (so I have more time to focus on my book). However, I will be offering 1-on-1 Life + Leadership Coaching.
For some this may be very exciting, as the past two years I only offered 1-on-1 coaching to people in the circle. Although mentorship programs like that are extremely supportive, they don’t always work for everyone time-wise and financially. So if either of those things held you back in the past two years, and you feel the spark of curiosity, I invite you to follow that nudge...
You can learn more about it here, and when you’re ready, take 15 minutes to fill out the Client Exploration Application. This does not obligate you to 1-on-1 coaching – it’s simply an exploration, and we will speak on the phone if it seems like a good fit!
“Coaching isn’t about fixing what’s wrong, it’s about exploring what you’re capable of.”
- Jason Jaggard
Now I’d love to hear from you!
What’s your thoughts on navigating the messy parts of change? Any tips or words of wisdom to drop for the community.
In devotion to bringing our full selves to the world…together,