Lessons in life, love, and leadership
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“Imagine the conditioning that has kept life away from you.”
This sentence stops my heart for a moment as I read it because I know what life tastes like before and after…healing.
This sentence helps me remember in my bones that life is happening now.
Which is probably the very Purpose (with a capital “P’) of humanity. Our great work…to remember. If not, life will keep passing us by with every justification of why ‘someday’ in the future it will be better.
When I have more money…
When I sort out my career…
When my body looks…
When I find myself in a relationship…
I used to think (and share with others) that I was a ‘jack of all trades’ and a ‘master of none.’
The truth is…that wasn’t true at all.
It was simply one of the self-sabotaging behaviors I used to keep myself small/ stuck/ feeling like I’m always one step behind the life I actually want to create (even though I’d say I wanted to play bigger, make an impact, bring my full self to the world, and flourish through and through).
That particular flavor of self-sabotaging behavior (and there are many, my friends) is called, Downplaying.
The holidays can be a tender time…no matter our experience.
And whichever holidays you invite into your life…I invite you to pay closer attention to the wisdom they offer you.
1. Life is going to get full at times.
2. Life has its seasons.
3. Life is going to hit crossroads.
…and when our life is full, in a season of transition, and/or at a crossroads…how do we come back to ourself?
Here we are - the final two months of 2020.
May we choose to be with whatever will unfold from a place of presence, tenderness, and appreciative thoughtfulness.
With that being my prayer for the completion of this wild ride of a year, I am creating a few things to support my communities near and far.
….We all completed our task and many shared how relieved they felt that it was done. The beautiful thing about relief is that it opens the doorway for more creativity, insight, and courage to flow. So it's more than just getting 'that thing' done...it's about your capacity and ability to be present.
…The way I do it is what makes it a ritual and not ‘just a bath.’
First, I create my own DIY salts to soak in. I usually make a bulk amount (see my ingredients below), and then scoop one cup of that mixture into my bath.
You know those kind of reflection questions us ‘personal development people’ like to ask…ones like, “what’s one of the most meaningful lessons you’ve learned in life?”
Well, instead of asking that question of you, I’m going to share my answer. But I’ll need to tell you a story first…
Let me begin by saying leadership touches every realm of our life - from how we do relationships, to the choices we make as a parent, to what forms of self-expression we put out into the world.
Truly, leadership belongs to all of us.
…We live in a world where there is so much stimulus, noise, and direction pointing from the outside world, that it can be hard to navigate our own Self. Our own truth. Our own path.
Have you ever felt like there is a life (or a version of you) trying to emerge through you…yet you just keep hitting roadblock, after roadblock, after roadblock?
Dear creative, soulful, messy, ambitious human…this is for you.
Soulful Self Mastery…Self compassion. Self trust. Self love.
…Not taught in school. Not required before getting into relationships, having kids, or going out into the world as an leader, entrepreneur, artist, change maker, human…yet some of the most popular subjects on the internet today are topics such as:
How to build self-confidence
How to deal with criticism
How to stop being so easily offended
How to cultivate hope after failing
How to develop your mind
How to be more likable
When I was 30 years old I had been living in New York City for ten years and training the Brazilian martial art, known as Capoeira for six years. I love both that city and that martial art more than words can express…in fact, to this day, I’d say a big part of how I show up in the world (with tenacity, integrity, and forthrightness) come from those two teachers - my father, a gritty city and my mother, a rebellious martial art…
If there is one thing I wish I could have learned earlier in life - something that would have saved me a lot of heartache, it would have been this…
It’s an enchanting, almost surreal moment when you’ve spent months brainstorming, meditating on, envisioning, creating, & curating something meaningful…and then it’s time to share it with the world. To invite others to dare to see the possibility that you have felt simmering in your bones like a sacred song that cries to be heard, to be felt, to be known.
It can feel both…
Empowering and Tender.
Exciting and Scary.
Ecstatic and Humbling.
Many, many years ago I came across a piece of writing called, A Hopi Elder Speaks. Since, I have shared it with many students in my yoga classes across the world. It’s a prophecy shared by the elders of the Hopi Nation. Even after all these years, it still moves me to tears every time I read it. It’s like poetry to me… I literally feel it in my bones, moving through me as if it were a treasured memory, a sort of long lost knowing…
2019 was a tender, heart-breaking, and exquisitely beautiful year for me. I will say farewell to it with both gratitude for the lessons I’ve learned and a deep readiness (and steadiness) to move forward with those gifts, in service….
Feeling confused and stuck about what you really want? I get it - you're not alone! In fact, 'how do I get clarity on what I really want' is one of the most common questions I get!
…This video is NOT about positive thinking (oh hell no!)…that’s not my thing. Rather, it’s about building your toolbox of resourcefulness and deepening your sorcery of sourcing your power from within.
There are times in our life when we are called into deeper reflection, more supportive self-care, and the space to re-define possibility for ourselves on a deep soul level.
These times often occur for us during transitionary moments in our life, which can be both inspiring and also downright necessary. Sometimes those moments in life call to us after an illness or a death. Sometimes it’s a nagging that’s been there for years, and finally, we just can’t ignore or numb it away any longer. And sometimes it’s a new phase on our timeline that feels important to us, such as a birthday or a profoundly new perspective/way of being that has soaked into our bones.
The reason for the call doesn’t matter as much as your intention for answering it - your willingness to lean into the whisper of your souls call and do the work it takes to bring your full self to the world. It’s this sort of reckoning, renewal, and reinvention that leads us to the fulfillment and freedom we seek, but you’ve got to be clear on three things if you’re to dive in with depth, honesty, and whole-hearted courage…
…It makes me think of a poetic Japanese art form, called Kintsugi or Kintsukuroi. It means ‘golden mend’ and is known as the art of precious scars. It repairs broken pottery with a glue that is mixed with powdered gold so that the broken parts are illuminated and honored. The philosophy is that breakage is part of the pottery’s history and is not something to hide or disguise. Its imperfection makes the piece more unique. The mess is considered an opportunity for beauty to emerge in a way that takes the art to new heights. The thread of its story deepens and the depth of its life becomes an inspiration for all those who get to witness it.
…When we do the deep work of connecting with our old beliefs and ways of being from the past, turning our ‘mess’ into our message, and re-writing the stories we most want to live into, we can see the path forward more clearly and are then able to lead from a place of deep work, rather than hard work.
From here, there is a truth and a freedom that enables us to…
…It’s as though we are going through a collective shift that is calling us all deeper into our truth. Deeper into our capacity to hold and be held. Deeper into the courage it will take to listen closer. Deeper into the depths of our potential and ability to truly love ourselves and others…to love not only what is delightful, but what is also difficult.
Our life is a dynamic and ever evolving work of art. It’s full of mystery and magic, pleasure and pain, seeking and surety. And what I know in my bones is this…we are not here to find anything (happiness, purpose, meaning, love)…we are here to CREATE it.
3 years ago, in a blog post, I wrote...
Even the strongest, most well-intentioned, self-proclaimed self-care aficionados need
S P A C E to fully let go and truly be held by another.
I still agree (with myself apparently -haha) because loves, it's true. Being held by another is one of the most soul-nourishing gifts you can allow yourself to receive.