This Mindset Hack Saved Me From Giving Up
"This is too hard!"
"I'm not having fun."
"I made a mistake."
"I don't know what to do!"
"This is just. too. hard!"
That was the voice inside my head and the story I was telling myself and Jp the first 3 weeks into our radical new lifestyle change of full time RV living, working, and traveling.
I got caught up in the details and the challenges that inherently come along with playing bigger and living into our most soulful vision, that I lost sight of the bigger picture and the 'why' behind this lifestyle shift.
I started believing the story I was telling myself over and over again, looking for things to prove me right. "See Jp, another thing broke!"
"Oh, the internet is really bad here...I bet it's going to be like this everywhere we go!"
In the midst of what felt like me losing my sanity, I came across a note from the universe by Mike Dooley that said...
I do believe, Amber, that if people would just start by saying "it's fun," when it seems hard; "I'm happy," when they seem sad; and "I know," when it seems they don't... they'd finally discover that it really is, they really are, and they always have.
Works for me,
With the state of mind I was in, I was willing to try anything...so here is what I did...
Every time I caught myself thinking or saying, "This is too hard," which was like every 10 minutes at this point, I would say, "no, it's not. It's an adventure. it's fun!"
The first few days felt fake and I felt the cynical tone coming through, but truth be told, it made me feel better (even if just a little bit). I also began seeking out things to appreciate, rather than complain about. So basically, when I said, "no, it's not. It's an adventure. it's fun!" I looked for evidence (just like I had when I was being miss complainy pants).
Then, within a week of this practice, I noticed I no longer had the story of "this is too hard." It just wasn't there anymore. And no what else wasn't there...this journey feeling impossible. And me thinking about giving up every two seconds.
Did it still have it's challenges? of course.
But what I realized was that the story of "this is too hard" was also the story I had when I first started my business, when I first truly fell in love and met the man of my dreams, and basically anytime I ventured out of my comfort zone and into my fulfillment zone. "This is too hard" was my way of staying small. It was the RED FLAG that was waved loud and proud by my itty bitty shitty committee (our inner critic/critter brain), saying, "don't go there girl...you might flounder, you might fall, YOU MIGHT FAIL! Better that you stay safe and just give up on this crazy idea of creating a truly extraordinary life by design and on my own terms."
And the way it kept me in a safe (unfulfilled) bubble was with the personalized mantra that triggered me just so, "It's too hard."
Fortunately I have had a wealth of resources (mentors, coaches, growth-minded community, mindset practices, and a VISION) that have kept me in the game even when this voice sang it's siren song of smallness.
And now, with this realization of it being a pattern (and not just a one time visitor), I can install what one of my coaches refers to as a 'smoke alarm' anytime I catch myself signing along with that mantra. I can recognize that those words are not a reason to give up, but rather a reason to persevere. I can lean into my experience, rather than run from it. I can see that those words mean I'm in my fulfillment zone, rather than my comfort zone.
I'm curious, what is that consistent story or mantra that shows up for you every time you stretch yourself into bringing your full self to the world and living into your fulfillment zone?
Here are some stories past clients have shared with me, any resonate with you?
I'm not ready.
It's not the right time.
I don't know how.
No one likes me.
I can't do it.
I always mess up.
and just like mine, "it's too hard."
PS. The Changemakers Circle begins March 17th. Enrollment closes March 10th.
The Changemakers Circle is a 10 month journey into deep personal, spiritual, and leadership development through soulful lifestyle design (The Fulfillment Formula, created by amber), playing bigger and contributing more with a mission based project designed by you, and a supportive community, coaching, and mentors to hold your hand along the way.
The Fulfillment Formula covers 9 major aspirations/categories of life, enabling you to uncover your souls blueprint, define goals you truly want, and create more meaningful impact in your life, your loved ones life, and the world at large.
If you have any questions, send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org
I’d love to circle with you in 2018.
To bringing your full self to the world,
Grab my FREE eCourse: Download my 4 session E-course for free! illuminated: a soulful life design challenge