...You're not crazy. You're crazy beautiful and for that, the world and your thoughts will push back. But this is your life. Your work in the world. Your time.
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Raise your hand if, at least in one area of your life, you feel you’ve fallen behind. Because I’ve never known any ambitious souls who haven’t, at least at some point in their life, felt like they have ‘fallen behind.”
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...I thought I was choosing happiness when what I was really choosing, was a side. Happy and present to life vs. safe and successful in life...
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...When my parents tell me this story I feel myself sitting up a little taller. I feel my body soften and my soul rise as I fill my lungs with fresh air. This the how the body feels when it takes in the energy of being ‘on purpose.’...
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When I was a teenager I wrote everyday. It was art and medicine for me. I even got my first degree in creative writing and was a journalist for the college newspaper. I always adored authors (my mom turned me onto books at age 14). My heroes are authors, some of my friends are authors, when I'm envious of someone...it's usually an author or someone with incredible writing skills. Do you relate to this at all? Are there people doing things in the world that you just swoon over and think, "Wow! I'd love to love to do that, be that, have that."
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I've been to four years of therapy, done two weeks of silent meditation in the jungle of Brazil, sat through an intense peyote ceremony on the beach in Nicaragua, engaged in rituals with shamans and sisters, broken my heart open in yoga classes with gurus, chanted ancient mantras with monks, cleansed my aura (and my anus for that matter). I've danced, screamed, stomped, and cried my demons/chains off. And I will say ALL of these are great and have their place in my heart and my current experience of life. However, if bringing your full self to the world is what your soul wants, there has only been one thing that has truly brought me to that place. And that is S T R E T C H I N G myself everyday. I don't mean literally stretching myself (though that certainly has created a lot of release and freedom in my life). I mean stretching myself outside my comfort zone, and doing that consistently.
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Most people truly believe that if they just had more money, the things that make them unhappy would disappear and their lives would be better. And though it’s true that money can make life more comfortable, it’s not the answer to these deeper calls for happiness, joy, meaning, and fulfillment. Absolutely, it’s a piece of a grander puzzle and can create a lot more ease and security, but the answer to your questions about happiness can only be found in a much deeper well.
Let’s explore…
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One of my favorite quotes is by a true changemaker, Aung San Suu Kyi. She says, “If you are feeling helpless, help someone.” These wise words, spoken by a Burmese woman who spent 15 years under house arrest as a political prisoner after she began speaking out publicly on issues of democracy and human rights.
I open with this story to honor the voices of women everywhere and this week in particular, the voice of mothers.
In honor of women and mothers everywhere, I’d like to introduce you to Charity: Water, a change-making organization that my business proudly supports.
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There was a time when I had a very poor relationship with money. My beliefs kept it arms length distance from me and even though I would say I wanted money in my life in a more sustainable and healthy way, it seem to not hear me. ;-)
Have you ever felt that way?
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When I was a child I use to daydream about living a life where I could be myself fully. But as a little one I deeply feared rejection due to some ‘learned’ experiences from society. I was a charismatic and vivacious little girl who also had a neurological disorder, which inherently made me ‘different.’ I remember being ostracized by schoolmates (including my childhood best friend) after ‘I was found out’ due to having seizures in school. No doubt, it imprinted on me some strong beliefs about myself and the world (that I no longer hold).
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Did you know that the odds of you being born - You, at the moment in time you were born, to the parents you were born to, with your unique DNA structure, is 1 in 400 trillion! Imagine that! 1: 400,000,000,000,000 - that's A LOT of zeros.
So what does this mean for you?
It means that your very existence is EXTRAORDINARY. You are already enough by the very nature of your presence. So my question to you then is this...
Are you living up to that legacy? Do you feel that your potential in life, love, and leadership is being tapped into? Or you are 'waiting for a better time' - when the kids are grown, when you have more money, when life isn't so busy. when you know more. when you're 'more' ready.
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I am often asked how I moved back to the United States from Nicaragua with...
- less than $1,000 to my name
- no home (just a car I was borrowing)
- a history of troubled relationships
- and only one suitcase of belongings
Then, in less than 3 years I created...
- an extraordinary love relationship that lights me up every day
- work in the world that I am deeply passionate about and that affords me a financially stress-free lifestyle I love
- a home/office that feels like a dream (in my dream neighborhood, just blocks from the ocean)
- and I am continuing to grow, contribute, and celebrate in new and exciting ways every year.
"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life" - John Lennon
I came across this quote recently and it got me thinking...
It got me thinking about the truth, that at the core of every goal and every desire, what we are all really after - is happiness.
In fact, so often where busy, driven professionals and visionaries lose this connection, is that they focus on what they think will bring them happiness (a means to end goal) rather than the end goal itself.
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There is a famous speech, that even if we have never listened to it, we know what it's about.
It's about a dream - a vision. And in expressing that dream fully, it changed the world and left it a better place for all of us.
I often think about the changemakers of our history and what this world might be like if they listened to their doubt, instead of their faith. Or their worry, instead of their wonder. Or their cynicism over their belief. Because, rest assured, they felt the latter. Yet they chose otherwise.
In my life and as a coach, I often wondered what made some people choose the latter. And what I have observed is that as people authentically meet themselves, and from that place, boldly go for their dreams - their dreams grow. They grow because 'who you have to become,' the character you develop in getting to your dreams - changes you. And in that change what you believe is possible for you and the world expands, and therefore your vision expands. It's like a muscle, a capacity thing, but with regards to character.
Follow your dreams today, and tomorrow you will become who you were always meant to be - a changemaker.
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I once heard someone say, "Confidence. It's not a pre-requisite for bold action, but it is the RESULT of bold action."
Confidence is something we all want more of - more confidence to land that deal, to take that risk, to follow our dreams, to get on that stage, to write that book, to ask that person out on a date. The paradox here is... you've got to first be willing to go for what you want to develop the confidence you think you need to get it. ha!
I personally find it to be a daily practice to hold onto and act on what I know to be true for me. My desires that come from a deep calling, a yearning from the soul - and to move forward, despite myself. Despite my doubts that maybe I miss heard the call, or maybe I won't add up to the calls expectations, maybe I won't add up to my expectations, maybe I won't be good enough.
So today I am going to share with you 3 powerful lessons I have learned that have shaped me and guided me over the years. They are the 3 things I know for sure about confidence. I hope it helps release some of that nagging doubt that sometimes seems stronger than you (but we both know you're stronger than your doubt). Here's to you and your confidence...
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Here’s a powerful question to ask yourself...
What do I need in place to create an environment that supports my goals, dreams, and evolution?
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It is wildly uplifting to me to witness someone going for their vision and their dreams with tenacity and courage. So today I am going to share 2 powerful lessons to getting there.
why?
Because our dreams and visions are the most precious thing we have.
Our dreams of finding our 'soul mate' or doing work in the world that truly fulfills us (and affords us the lifestyle we desire).
Our visions of living a life of depth, presence and purpose.
Our desires to have more adventure and like-minded community surrounding us.
Our Visions to be of service to others through empowering, inspiring, & leading by example.
Our desires to see what we are made of and to go for something that simultaneously scares and ignites us.
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LET'S GET REAL. And to get real, I need to ask real questions. So I won't beat around bush...
What are you willing to give up, in order to have the life you keep saying you want?
Is there something you have been yearning to try or to create but feel too afraid or have rationalized it down to 'not worthy' or 'not now.' Are you stuck in old patterns and beliefs that seem to keep you on a loop of repeated stories that you're getting tired of living out? Do you feel envy towards others, catching yourself getting lost on social media wondering how everyone else seems to be living into their dreams?
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Up until last year I thought that doing more, giving more, being more was the path to getting ahead and fulfilling my purpose.
In my business I was more concerned with how much I could do and create and ‘keep up’, rather than getting support and carving out the time to focus down on what I really wanted to be doing, creating, and saying with more confidence and purpose.
I spent way more time thinking up ideas to post on social media or scouring the internet to see what other people were doing and just feeling like I would never ‘catch up’ and never be ‘good enough.’
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On our path towards our desires, dreams, and a life fully lived - the goal is presence (not joy) along the journey. Presence will summon life force and truly 'life summoning through you is what it's all about." Sometimes presence will feel ecstatic and joyful and sometimes it will feel brutal and painful. To allow both the beauty and the brutality of humanity to be felt is to be truly deeply intimate with yourself and others and is the only path I have witnessed to living a truly full(filled) life.
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